TextYourEx 
Sometimes it can seem as if every interaction with your Ex ends up in a fight. If they used to be a reasonable person, then it may just be the result of the stress and uncertainty of your divorce. Things are difficult for everyone, try to be patient and follow these 3 tips to make things better now and in the years ahead.
Are your children worried about expressing their love for their other parent? When they talk about their other parent in ‘rose-colored’ terms do you worry that they will only be disappointed and heartbroken (maybe like yourself) once they learn the truth? Sometimes a little fantasy is okay for kids to feel good about themselves. At some stages of development, it’s more important for kids to feel loved by both parents and believe that they came from two good people than to know the adult ‘truth’. Allowing your child to be open and honest about all of their feelings is the best way to know what is going on in their heads and be able to support and protect them.
Exchanges can be a difficult time for parents and kids. Parents begin to anticipate the worst and dread having contact with their Ex. Kids have to prepare to say goodbye to one parent and switch homes. When conflict arises, things get much worse real fast for both adults and children. But this is a time of reunion! A time of stability for your kids: a reinforcement of the parent-child bond that survives beyond your adult romantic relationship. This is about your kids, getting to be with them, and making them happy. When your thoughts start to be all about your Ex, refocus on your kids!
Stress takes a significant physical toll on your body. It drains you mentally and physically leaving you less than 100% for your kids, who are also stressed! Stress can be a vicious cycle but it’s a cycle that must be broken because chronic stress can be dangerous. Find a way to shed unhealthy stress – there are LOTS of resources available!
Kids who have parents in two homes are always saying goodbye to someone and hello to someone else. They have to balance between being sad to leave one parent and being happy to see the other. Imagine only being able to see one of your children at a given time and always having to choose which one you’ll share different experiences with. Transitions are tough, and you’ll see the stress in your child’s behavior, regardless of their age. Be patient, be kind, be supportive. This was not their choice and everyone needs a little extra help through this difficult time.
In today’s state of divisive politics, one can learn a lot about conflict. The one thing politics can teach us is that it is necessary to work within a framework of rules and decorum in order to come together to make important decisions (such as how to raise happy, healthy, and productive humans!) If Republicans and Democrats can work together for the good of the country, you and your Ex can definitely Co-Parent without conflict for the good of your kids.
Trying to get along with the person who you decided you could never get along with is ROUGH! It may be unrealistic to think things will go smoothly all of the time but how do you know what is ‘normal’ and when your relationship could – and should – be better? After all, you want your new life to be as easy as it can be so that you can focus your time, energy and thoughts on your KIDS!
Stress creates MORE STRESS and makes everything harder, at a time when you are zapped of emotional and physical strength. The way you are communicating with your co-parent may have your trapped in a cycle of stress. Learn how to stop this cycle and take control of your life! Make co-parenting easy and stress-free!
When we wake up and realize life is not what we imagined it would be, it creates a split in us. The best way to heal that divide is to look deep inside and find out who you are and what you want and then you will be equipped to start down a new path. Growth is hard because it is always partnered with change and grief but it is mankind’s greatest pursuit to always be wanting to be better and find greater fulfillment.
Don’t stay in the same relationship that led to your separation. When your Ex pushes your buttons and keeps making you angry, it’s a way they can stay in control and keep you tied to the relationship. Find a way to communicate with your Ex that creates strong boundaries and allows you to discuss mutual goals for your kids without the anger. As soon as you can become indifferent to your Ex’s behavior, life will be a lot easier.
